So you think you’re ready to be in a relationship again. A lot of times we want so badly to date someone new, but in reality we aren’t emotionally or mentally ready to do that. So I have to ask you… Are you truly prepared to give up your independence and bring someone into your life? What I mean to ask is, are you really ready to date again? Here are 5 signs that you should put your big kid panties on and get back out there.
1. You’ve Stayed Single for a While
Before dating a new guy make sure you’ve given yourself enough time to actually get over your ex. Often times, the relief you feel from breaking up with your ex disguises itself as you being over him. There’s a difference. Usually the “getting over” someone happens after the relief. Give yourself enough time to go through the post-break up process. If you don’t go through it now, it will hit you like a train later.
2. You Want More than a Vice for Your Loneliness
Stop thinking that a man is going to fix your loneliness. You are your own cure. Instead of dating a new guy, go out with your friends, find a new hobby or get a cat. Being by yourself is a great way to learn about who you are, what you want, and what will make you happy. You don’t ever (and you won’t ever) need a man, and if you think you do, you’re going to be in big trouble in the long run.
3. You Want a Real Relationship
If you’re in it for the right reasons, then you wanting a new man has nothing to do with your family nagging you to find someone or your unsatisfied sex life (you can get an FWB if you’re really in dire need). It also definitely shouldn’t have anything to do with some sort of revenge toward your ex. Don’t play the, “I’m going to make him jealous” game. It always ends badly. If you’re in the dating game for the right reasons, then you most likely just want to chill with a good man who treats you right.
4. Your Ex is Out of Mind
Of course, he’s probably not completely out of your mind, but what’s important is that you don’t think about your ex constantly. You don’t feel the urge to text him. You don’t booty call him at one in the morning… Rephrase: you don’t ever booty call him. You don’t check his social media. You definitely don’t talk to his mom (Ladies, I beg you. Please stop talking to your exes parents after you breakup!). Stick to the daily rule: If you think about your ex every day, you’re probably still too involved.
5. You’ve Accepted Your Past
One of the worst things you can do is go into a new relationship ashamed or embarrassed of your past. You have to own and make peace with it. If it wasn’t for every ex, every mistake, and every drunken hookup, you wouldn’t be exactly where you are now. Love yourself. Love your life. And then you can love someone else.
If after reading this, you’re still trying to decide if you’re over your ex and ready to date again, then most likely you’re not. Take it easy. Give yourself some time. Soak in the independence that comes with single life and revel in the fact that you don’t have to listen to someone snore all night.