Bedroom Talk

How Long Should You Wait Before Getting Frisky With Someone?

Ah, here we go again. The age-old question has, once again, resurfaced. How long should you wait before letting someone in your pants? It’s not an easy question to answer. Why? Because it’s literally different for everyone.

You can’t give a specific amount of days or dates that’ll determine when you’re ready to be that intimate with someone. Therefore, instead of telling you, “wait 3 dates before having sex with them,” we’re going to give you a list of things to know and feel for someone before giving it up.

1. Trust Them First

This one should be obvious, but for some reason, people are hopping in bed with people they don’t remotely trust. Why would you let someone have that much access to your body when you don’t trust them? First, you have to form trust and truly be able to freely give yourself to them. If you don’t trust them yet or have reservations, then don’t bang them. Case closed.

2. Get to Know Them Well

You should have a pretty good idea about who this person is at their core. You don’t have to know what their favorite cartoon was growing up or who was their favorite superhero, but you should be aware of what their goals are in life. You should also know if they’re genuinely a good person or if they just pretend to be good for the sake of their image.

3. You Feel Comfortable Around Them

I’m not talking about the kind of comfort where you can snuggle up and be content. I’m talking about you feeling comfortable around them in any situation. Do you feel comfortable walking around naked with them watching you? No? Then why would you get naked with them? I get insecurities can run a little high when it’s with someone new, but if you feel like they’d judge you for anything about your physical appearance, then you shouldn’t be stripping down for them.

4. You Aren’t Debating It

If you’re really not sure if you should sleep with someone or not…then maybe you shouldn’t be. If it’s that big of a concern that you have to Google whether or not it’s time to have sex with them, then the answer is probably pretty clear. Don’t. You should feel whole heartedly positive about hooking up with them before you actually do it.

5. They Don’t Push The Sex

Again, this should be a given, but there are far too many people who get pressured into sex before they actually want to do it. If you honestly believe someone will leave you if you don’t get with them, then they’re not worth having sex with at all. They don’t deserve it. If someone is asking you to have sex and getting upset when you tell them you’re not ready yet, they’re a douche and you should leave them. Because if they do that, it’s clear that they don’t actually give a shit about you.


Having sex with someone new for the first time is a huge deal. It’s important to make sure you actually want to be with that person before getting naked and hopping in their bed.

Just your not so average introvert extraordinaire. Lover of all things food, travel, fitness, and love related. If you want to see her best disappearing act, just give her a book and a blanket. Freelance writer. Aspiring author. Laugher. Lover. Pretty cool lady (I promise).

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