Single Mingling

5 Reasons Guys Aren’t Approaching You

There are plenty of reasons you may prefer to sit back and let the fellas come to you. But if you’ve been waiting and waiting for someone to approach you and they’re just not even coming close to you, there maybe be a few problems. Little do you know, you could be giving off the wrong vibe and preventing them from wanting to come say hi and get to know you. These are the most common reasons guys aren’t approaching you.

1. You Look Like a Straight up Bitch

I get the resting bitch face. I’ve been there. I have that. But you can stop that resting bitch face by smiling! Quit looking like a bitch all the time. I know you can’t really help it sometimes, but you can put on a smile and look like you’re fun to be around. If you look fun and inviting, guys will want to be a part of that good time.

2. You’re Surrounded by Friends

Let’s be real, guys aren’t all that brave. They don’t like being rejected and get embarrassed when they are. That fear is amplified if you’re surrounded by a bunch of other girls. He will never want to risk being shut down in front of so many ladies. My advice? Take a trip to the other side of the bar and order a drink alone. It’ll give guys an opportunity to make a move.

3. You’re on Your Damn Phone

When you’re not paying attention to anything but your phone, no guys is going to want to walk up to you and risk you not even looking up at them. You look busy. You could just be checking your email but it can look like you’re chatting with a boyfriend or don’t want to be bothered and that will keep the guys away from you.

4. You Don’t Look Like You’re Staying Long

Is your coat on? Are you not even drinking anything? Are you standing close to the door looking outside? When it looks like you’re just stopping in and then leaving, guys don’t want to waste their time. If they’re going put it all out there by approaching you, they want to make sure they’ll have the opportunity to at least talk to you. So if you really are staying, take the coat off and order a drink. Show them you’ll be approachable for a while.

5. You Keep Turning Guys Away

First of all, if some guy is watching you literally shut down every single guy who walks up to you…why would he want to give it a try? Sure, you may be waiting for that specific guy to walk your way and you want to be available for him, but if he thinks you’re just going to shoo him away, he won’t take that chance. Secondly, he may get the impression that you’re not available by doing this. So chat up a couple guys so he knows you’re not going to shut him down right away. Make him think he’ll have a shot and he’ll want to take it.


If all else fails, get off your ass and go approach the guy! Sometimes they’re too shy or scared to make the first move. Why do they have to be the ones to do it anyways? You go up to them and show them how confident you are. Don’t wait around for a guy.

Just your not so average introvert extraordinaire. Lover of all things food, travel, fitness, and love related. If you want to see her best disappearing act, just give her a book and a blanket. Freelance writer. Aspiring author. Laugher. Lover. Pretty cool lady (I promise).

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