You’re getting older, you’re in a serious relationship, you’re married, and your friends and family start to pressure you. But the truth? You never want kids.
“When are you going to have babies?!” they cry, pouting in front of you as you explain, yet again, that you never want kids. While society may make parenthood seem like an essential human experience, you are perfectly whole if you choose not to have children. Here’s why it doesn’t matter if you don’t want kids.
1. It’s Selfish, But so is Having Them
Many people cite parenthood as one of those selfless decisions that shifts your personal worldview from completely self-centered to completely child-centered. However, choosing to have children also means that you are perpetuating many of your personal values and ideas into the world through your children. Choosing not to have children does not put you at some sort of moral opposition to parents, but rather, it allows you to practice agency in your life in a different way. If you never want kids, it doesn’t mean you’re any more selfish than those who do.
2. It’s Your Life
You wake up every day, and although you are inevitably connected to others, you’re the only one going through your particular beautiful human experience. Why does your mom or your dentist or your neighbor care whether or not you’re spending your days improving at your art rather than looking after a newborn? It’s your life. Hot tip, though, you and your partner need to be on the same page with this issue because a lot of resentment can occur if you’re not. Regardless, while these choices aren’t easy, they’re yours and nobody can take that away from you. If you never want kids, you don’t have to have them.
3. There are Plenty of Kids in the World
Seriously. It’s okay if you never want kids. Less humans means a smaller carbon footprint and more resources for the rest of us (and shorter lines at the grocery store, tbh). I’m not trying to be cynical, but seriously, it’s okay if you don’t want to have kids – it keeps us further away from the end of the world. Just saying.
Trying to answer to societal pressures is tough. But in the end, nobody knows what’s absolutely right for you but you. If you want to dedicate your life to something other than becoming a parent, you have every right to make that choice. If you never want kids, then damn it, don’t have any.