Breakups of all kinds suck. Whether you’re the one doing the deed or you’ve just been broken up with, you’ll go through these stages of a breakup.
Does anyone enjoy the pain accompanied by a breakup? I don’t think so! There’s going to be many stages of a breakup that you go through and that’s totally normal, so make sure that you ride them out all the way through. It’s the only way that you will truly be able to move on. Let your mind, body, and soul heal because if you don’t allow yourself to feel, you are only prolonging the hurt.
1. You’re Heartbroken
You feel as though part of your heart is gone. The person you’ve spent so much time with, shared your life with, has just broken your heart. And all you keep doing is going back and forth between why you weren’t good enough and what you did wrong. It’s normal to feel like there was something you did when someone loses interest in a relationship. Stop doing that to yourself. From past experience, I know what it’s like chasing after guys who have no interest in getting to know you. That’s not your fault. Think of it this way: aren’t you glad that you don’t have to devote so much of your love and energy into someone that doesn’t appreciate it?
2. You’re Confused
You’re nearing the end of your heartbroken stage, but it still hurts. It will for a while – but you’ll get through it. Don’t let yourself think that you have no life ahead of you after you’re crushed in such a personal way. This is one of the hardest stages of a breakup. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for two months, two years, or twenty years and it’s just come to an abrupt or long-awaited end, there is life afterwards for you – with another person. There’s someone out there feeling the exact same way you are. There is nothing wrong with you, so try not to feel confused as to why they broke up with you. You won’t understand their motives, but you’ll have to let it go enough to find peace for yourself.
There’s someone out there feeling the exact same way you are. There is nothing wrong with you, so try not to feel confused as to why they broke up with you. You won’t understand their motives, but you’ll have to let it go enough to find peace for yourself.
3. You’re Angry
Now you’re angry. You have invested so much into this person and your relationship – even given up part of yourself for them for crying out loud! But they didn’t see your value and they ended it anyways. Be angry. Let the anger run its course. Don’t force yourself to think that you shouldn’t be angry, that you need to forgive and forget. That comes later. Anger is part of the grieving process and it’s normal. You’ve been rejected and hurt by someone you care about, so be angry, but make sure that you channel it into something
Anger is part of the grieving process and it’s normal. You’ve been rejected and hurt by someone you care about. So be angry, but make sure that you channel it into something positive like your workouts or a very angry painting session. You throw that paint!
4. Finding Yourself
You’ve passed the furious stage, although the sight of their face still pisses you off. Now you’re on the best of the stages of a breakup. You’ve started opening doors for yourself, taking the time to reflect on who you are as a person without them in your life. You’re probably starting to talk to new people again, and it’s starting to feel natural and not forced. You’re nearing the stage of acceptance and life is starting to get a little brighter again. It still might take some time, but you are well on your way to recovery and loving the single life.
5. Moving On
Surprise! It’s happened. It felt like it never would, but you’ve stopped thinking of them before you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning. You’re not focussing on why they left you, or your life without them. You’re focussing on yourself, forming new relationships and learning to love yourself again. You’ve moved on. You might find your thoughts wandering to them occasionally, but there’s no longer hurt there- at least not enough to cry over. It’s more of a dull ache, but you’re letting yourself be open to the possibility of new love, new experiences, and new friendships.
You’re Not Alone in This
There are many stages that you might go through after heartbreak, and even though you think that you’re alone in this, you’re not. These are experiences that everyone goes through in life. And if you’re stuck on sadness, anger, or confusion over the ordeal, just remember to let your emotions run their course. Invest in people, confide in your friends and family. You will be surprised with how supportive they are. And even if they aren’t, even if it feels like the whole world is against you remember that you are the keeper of your own happiness, and it does not require anyone but yourself to allow you to be happy.
You might face more heartbreak ahead of you as most people do, but not everyone will break your heart. You’ll go through these stages of a breakup many more times. But eventually, you will find your person.